Salvation or Damnation
by fourcellardoor
Summary: Is there any hope left for Uchiha Sasuke? Will he be able to find salvation and forgiveness, or will he forever be damned? AU...just a smidge. Read and review, please.
1. Fading Light

**Title: Salvation or Damnation**

**Chapter One: Fading Light**

**Author's Note: Edited this chapter a little bit (very little) since it has been requested that it be expanded. Awesome. :) I know that I write short chapters, but I find it easier to read. Let me know what you think – read and review please!**

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Naruto or the characters within, just the idea.**

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**Fading Light**

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The heavily wooded forest had been considerably darkened by the ominous looming clouds overhead as they released their contents upon the already moist ground. On this night, the stars had found no reason to shine and the moon lacked the will to part the clouds; the skies reflected hurt, anger and betrayal. Even the wind failed to show its presence which allowed two lone figures to be the only movement and sound emitting through the thick variety of trees. One figure was lying on his back barely able to breath with blood trickling from the corners of his parted lips. His blond hair was matted and coated with mud as was the rest of his body, and his dark sapphire eyes failed to open. The other figure was hunched over him, his face mere inches away from the one lying down, and his breath was labored as his widened onyx eyes stared down at his comrade. He could feel the lack of warmth with great magnitude as the rain pounded against his head and back causing him to shiver slightly. Strands of his raven colored hair clung to his face as he pondered about why he felt so tired, so weak; though, he would have never thought there would come a time when he would think such things. The rain continued to fall in torrents as it streamed down his face, and mingled with the heat of his tears that remained unseen; he began to shake due more to anxiety than the bitter cold. No longer able to bear the sight before him, he attempted to callously look away and convince himself that this is what he needed. But in moments such as these, he always knew that his heart cried out for their touch and the warmth that he felt when they always saved him from himself. Over and over again, they had always shown him trust and that hurt him more than anything else.

Even he knew that he was blinded by his hate; in fact, he was not blind at all, but he chose to only see the growing desire in his heart for revenge. And with this darkening path, he could not help but run away from them and their light. The pain that he felt, he could never explain to anyone else, but his friends had understood and accepted him as he was. All of the demons he fought to keep locked away inside, he hid with his apathy and inability to change, but they saw right through this too. This mere thought had been the one that always kept him awake at night, this one thought of why he had ever left them in the first place.

_I can, I can never go back. _

He shook his head while climbing to his feet then ran a hand over the dried blood on his shirt before starting in the direction from whence he had come. As much as his friends wanted to accept him and bring him home, he knew better than anyone that the pain of betrayal never relented; it was as he had intended. His one last hope for him had been that they would soon give up on him and begin to hate him, and eventually force themselves to forget him. The pain that he felt, he would have never wished upon anyone save one, but his friends did not deserve it. In fact, he did not deserve most of the people who had come into his life. He paused to give one last look at the fallen figure, he sighed before continuing.

_Naruto…_

The energetic blond seemed to never be satisfied with anything, and everything he did was to gain attention and yet he was the closest to anything that felt like a strong bond. Though they had been rivals, their unsaid friendship had grown as they competed against each other at everything they did. Naruto never gave up and only grew stronger as time went on because of his love of his friends...

_Kakashi-sensei..._

The closest thing to a father in his latter years, and a teacher who had shown him everything that he could. Someone who had tried to prove that friendship and companionship were the most important aspects of anyone's life. Kakashi had put his faith in him and was someone who he had let down...

_Ino, Chouji, Shikamaru..._

A trio of individuals who always seemed to show up at the worst possible moment yet always came when needed the most. The blonde girl with glimmering blue eyes, who annoyed him to no end with her constant hugs and confessions of a crush. The plump kid with messy brown hair and a desire to eat who surprised him the most with his hidden strengths. The lazy boy who was a true genius and was the one person to count on even if he never seemed to care. These three had been active members in his life, who annoyed him during his time in Konohagakure, but he seemed to realize how much they meant to him after he left.

_Sakura..._

The person he thought he would miss the least was the one person he missed the most once he left. Her pale pink hair and glimmering jade eyes, they had always shone for him and she had been the one who caught him every time he fell. To her, he could do no wrong and that was why she was the hardest one to leave. She loved him and he had known it all along, but the moment she confessed it to him in the middle of the road was when it became fully realized. There were so many things he left unspoken, but he could not speak those words because it would have only made leaving harder. Sakura had always been the light in his life; but to go down the path he had chosen that was consumed with darkness, he would have to extinguish that light. Did he love her? Does he love her? He could not answer those questions, but whatever he felt for her, it was strong and it was complete. It seemed that she could put back the pieces of his broken self and make him whole again, even if only for a moment. Deep down he knew he needed her if he was to ever find salvation, and that was why he had tried to make certain she would never find him.

_Sakura…_

He could not be saved if he was to carry out what he had spent his life trying to obtain. A part of him wished that he would defeat his brother but would die in the process. Perhaps, in that moment, his heartache would be lifted as well as theirs; but in his eyes, the relief would only be brief. People like him were only permitted into one place once death overcomes them: Hell. And he knew that was where he belonged...he could only wish that he would see his friends in another life where the circumstances would be different and they could follow the same path. As for now, he would have to go it alone and suffer for his transgressions every day until the end.

The rain had dissipated and now only its remnants were trickling from the leaves high overhead, but there was still no light given to him by the moon or the stars. He no longer expected it to be there since he had shut out his light years ago, and now was only accustom to living in darkness.


	2. Heaven or Hell

**Title: Salvation or Damnation**

**Chapter Two: Heaven or Hell**

**Author's Note: Seeing as how the people who left reviews thought this story should be continued, it has been done. Hopefully, this will continue to meet the expectations…read and review, please.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the characters within, just the story. **

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**Heaven or Hell**

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The darkness had dissolved and so did the rain as the sun broke through the horizon lining the clouds with gold. Shades of pink, purple and orange streaked across the sky while the sun continued its slow accent. Shards of it golden light broke through the thick leaves and fell upon the fallen form entangled in the roots at the base of an old tree. His breathing was regular and shallow as his fingers clutched a kunai with great strength though he was asleep. After a short while, his darkened eyes opened with a start and he quickly glanced at his surroundings; not a single living thing stirred and it was quiet. He rose to his feet, trying to keep his trembling subtle, and felt a thickened substance in his mouth. The crimson liquid spat out from his lips and splattered upon the grass near his feet. Thoughts in his head kept swirling unable to provide focus on a single one as the gentle wind touched his skin. In this moment, he could have sworn he heard her call his name and she appeared before him. Her pink hair danced across her face in the breeze as her jade eyes watched him expectantly while the soft light of the morning sun illuminated her fair skin. Without a second thought, he reached out to touch her only to discover she was a figment of his imagination. He scolded himself with his head was still spinning, for so quickly assuming it was her though she did not appear to have aged. His mind grew curious as to how she was now, did she still resemble the Sakura of his memories or had she become a completely different person that he would not recognize. But he already knew that he would recognize her face, no matter how much it had changed, if he were to see her again. Scolding himself again, knowing that he would not see her again, he began to stumble in the opposite direction of the sunrise. 

The concept of time had become foreign to him as he carried on through the forest for most of the day until his stomach began to growl. Though he wanted to ignore it, he knew that he needed to eat since he had not eaten or had proper sleep in at least a few days. His ears twitched at the sound of water and he followed it until reaching the embankment of a small river. Eager at the sight but cautious as usual, he glanced around before removing his clothes and stepping into the water. A shiver went up to his spine as he lowered himself until he was neck deep in the water. It was cold, covering his body with goose bumps, and his wounds stung as the water pulled the blood from his skin. He emitted a sigh from his lips as he attempted to cleanse the blood from his hands, and soon became lost in his own thoughts.

_Hell_…_I wonder what it will be like. Was there ever really a choice for me? All that I have done, everything that I have become – there is no hope for anything else._

His hands moved towards his face as he submersed himself beneath the water's surface and attempted a feeble purification that he knew carried no weight. He allowed his body to resurface and float amongst the fallen leaves.

_Naruto, Kakashi, Sakura…what will Heaven be like for you? Will there be no sorrow for you? Sakura? Will you not miss me any more? Do you even miss me now?_

Sasuke clamped his eyes shut while fighting the memories that threatened to haunt him; he would not let that night play back once again. He had relived it far too often in his dreams – more like nightmares – and soon those memories became as dreaded as those of the massacre.

_Was there any hope for Zabuza? Kakashi had spoken as if there was a chance he would join Haku…but was that true? Or was it just sympathetic words with little force behind them? If that were true for him, then maybe I would have a chance._

Slowly, he climbed out of the river and shook droplets of water from his body while images of a certain someone flooded his mind. He shook his head, disagreeing with the notion he had prior; there was no possible chance for him to be with her - in this life or the next. After allowing himself to dry off, he pulled his clothes back on and enjoyed the warmth that was provided due to sitting in the sun. It did not take long for him to catch several fish, most of which he would save for the next few days. Though the sun had begun to set, he knew that he could not stop here to rest and must continue on well into the night if he was going to put distance between himself and the others. At least the meal had replenished some of his strength, but it did not inhibit the pain he felt in his chest; he knew this pain. This was the pain he felt when he discovered the Uchiha massacre, the pain he had felt when he was forced to watch the scene play over and over again, the pain he felt the night he left. It ached often and the sadness that it brought rarely left its place in his heart; his eyes remained cold and distant and his face apathetic, though he was in turmoil. The emotions he felt did not matter, he decided, for his fate had been predetermined. There was no hope for Uchiha Sasuke, there was no longer a light to shield Uchiha Sasuke, and there was no place in Heaven for Uchiha Sasuke.


	3. Fragments of the Kyuubi

**Title: Salvation or Damnation**

**Chapter Three: Fragments of the Kyuubi**

**Author's Note: I really haven't gotten many reviews for this so far, and I'm not even certain anyone likes this story...but I figured I might as well write another chapter or two before deciding whether or not it should be completed. Let me know what you think, love it or hate it, so I get a better idea of it. No flames though.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or the characters within.**

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**Fragments of the Kyuubi**

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The light of white and azure stars flickered against the darkened backdrop of the sky alongside the crescent moon, and gave the appearance of fireflies or a glittering piece of fabric. Though beautiful, Sasuke frowned with distaste, for he knew the truth about this recital and it saddened him. His onyx eyes shot away from the sky and back to the path in front of him while taking great leaps from branch to branch at a hurried pace. He paid little attention to the smaller branches that scratched against his arms and legs, and left their crimson mark. The pain, he told himself, was not enough to make the one in his heart to disappear - he needed more. He picked up his speed, and the scratches began to turn into cuts then became deep gashes that seeped crimson; but he did not care. The hours of twilight seemed to be a reflection of the mood and emotions that he had felt over the many years of his life including now. Dark strands of hair clung to his fair face as beads of sweat rolled down his face, but he quickly brushed the loose strands out of his eyes. He knew that the stars glimmered because death had grown close to them and soon would extinguish their lives. But his mind could never keep from thinking of the stars as fireflies and how the light was calling out to those who were searching…for what he did not know. The silence and isolation that the night had always provided him was the main reason behind his view of it being similar to him. It kept silent secrets, kept a wall high enough to block out the world with its darkness, it hid his tears and his sadness much like how he kept it locked away. But the stars would try to break through and call out, to him, he did not know, yet it seemed as though the dying light wanted to save him.

"Naruto?" The name fell from his lips almost instinctively while he came to a dead stop, precariously balancing on the edge of a thickened branch. Green leaves surrounded him and he could not see anything, yet he was almost certain he sensed the blonde's presence. Crimson eyes, complete with three black tomoe surrounding the pupils, replaced his onyx ones as he darted off in an attempt to evade.

"Sasuke," the cheerful blond bounced in front of him with a large grin plastered across his face, but all too soon his image disappeared. Sasuke turned away from where his friend had been moments prior with his eyes tightly shut and his jaw clenched. His mind drifted to the events that had happened only a little over a day before, events that seemed to be a replay from a few years ago. The blonde refused to just hate him and would ever so often search for him, yet this was the first time since their last battle when they were much younger.

Sasuke could remember the cold sensation of the rain as he leaned over Naruto's body and contemplated killing him, but he knew he would not be able to. He cared for him too much, considered him his best friend, and denied the path that his brother had taken. Instead, he watched and before he could change his mind, he took his path to Orochimaru. With each and every step bringing him closer, the more regret and guilt tried to take over. He knew he was going to miss Naruto from the moment he rose to his feet, leaving the blonde lying bloodied and dirty in the rain. He remembered wishing for the rain to wash away the pain of the unconscious figure, and his own. And now, years later, the same event happened with the same result. Sasuke hoped with embittered silence that Naruto would hate him after realizing that nothing had changed, that he would not return home and to just forget about him.

Naruto was just like one of these stars, more like the brightest one, he was calling out to him and trying to save him. But again, Sasuke remembered that their paths were too different and that he would never get to see his friend as a friend again. Being enemies was the only way for them to survive with the pain, though it was difficult for either of them to look at the other that way. The image of Naruto's mischievous facial expression from when they wanted to discover what was underneath Kakashi-sensei's mask popped into his mind, and he mouth twitched though it managed to fight off the smirk. He closed his eyes and glimmering sapphire ones greeted him from behind his eyelashes. A groan of aggravation rumbled from his throat as he ran a hand roughly through his black hair with frustration. Images of the smiling companion he had lost so long ago, or who he had decided to shove away filled his mind and played through in rapid succession. Times when he was laughing at some sorry excuse for a joke, falling from edges and branches, running into trees, fighting side by side with him. The aggression and power Naruto had shown had incited the jealous nature within his self, and he knew it was because Naruto was fighting for something different that he had. Naruto was a fighter, a savior, a protector. Sasuke was none of those things, just an avenger; he could never protect those he cared about as well as Naruto could. But then again, he never tried to his fullest capabilities. Shaking the thoughts of the Naruto as far out of his mind as possible, he continued, now growing closer to the city he had been taking refuge in while he searched for Itachi.


	4. Fragile Shards of the Cherry Blossom

**Title: Salvation or Damnation**

**Chapter Four: Fragile Shards of the Cherry Blossom**

**Author's Note: I really haven't gotten many reviews for this so far, and I'm not even certain anyone likes this story...so, I'm going to stop here unless I hear otherwise, I'll finish it if that is the case. Let me know what you think, love it or hate it, so I get a better idea of it. No flames though.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or the characters within. (Also, this chapter implies certain actions that might be deemed inappropriate; please use your discretion.)**

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**Fragile Shards of the Cherry Blossom**

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The sunlight shifted ever so slowly across a modest, neutral colored room before disappearing leaving it blanketed in darkness. His still figure sat perched on the edge of his bed as the hours turned into days and the days into weeks. It had been three weeks since his run in with his old comrade and yet he could not force himself to leave; he could barely summon the energy to move. The guilt was suffocating and this was the exact reason why he wanted to shut everyone that he had once known out of his life. He needed to pursue what he had been working his whole life for without the inhibitions of other people, and the pain that was induced by their unwavering kindness and love. A snarl crossed his face as he lazily rested his arm on his raised knee and he spat at the idea of their kindness and love. It was what made them weak and vulnerable; it was what made them strong and invincible, and he wanted to hate them for it. But he knew he could not hate them, and that their ideas on love and kindness were not too foreign to him.

He had once known how it felt to love and he began to grow curious as to whether or not how he felt about a certain someone was a type of this love. From his experiences with Karin, he knew he felt different about her than the rest of the girls he has known. The sudden urge to vomit passed over him but he managed to suppress it, though it filled his mouth with the taste of bile. His dark eyes closed tightly as another surge came over him, but again he managed to not vomit until reaching the toilet. Resting his arms on the toilet, he lie there with his head hung low and his face darkened. The recollection of events that he experienced with Karin made him feel sick and as if he was a disgusting beast covered in filth; something that should not be touched by anything pure or chaste. He knew why he had done the things that he had done, he wanted to forget her - he needed to forget her. She had always been delicate but strong, her emotions were always thrown out for the world to see without fear, and she cared…for everyone. Karin was the opposite from her: she was too confident, too domineering, too manipulative, too out there. She never listened and was openly defiant, and she would always get this look in her eyes when she would look at him. He played it well, treating her like every other girl who had obsessed over him, but let her do as she pleased. Another bought of bile rose from his stomach and burned his esophagus as it poured out into the toilet. Karin made him this way because she was not the one he had wanted to be with, and she would never be. But now, no matter how things turned out he could not be with the one person who could have given him the salvation he knew he needed. Her pale glowing skin, slender body, brilliant jade eyes, and her light pink hair; she would always be the most precious thing he would ever see. But he would not permit her, and her honesty and light, to be tainted by his sins and what he must do. So, he had to allow himself to be desecrated because that was the only way he would not be allowed near his former sanctuary. A small notion left him inclined to believe that even with the steps that he had taken, she would respond in the very same nature he hoped she would not. She would open up her loving arms and embrace him without hesitation; he tried to hate that about her. He knew that she had always been a healer, even before the rumors of her medical training circulated, and a defender. A glimpse of her glimmering green eyes, and he would feel as though she pulled all of the broken pieces that were once a man and she would make him whole.

Soon, the night he so desperately fought to block out began to break through the walls he had built around his heart and around his mind; and he wanted to hate it. The air was cool and relaxed, but he could feel the heavy weight upon his shoulder as he passed by every familiar place. She had known what he was planning on doing, and as he had suspected, she could not understand and tried to stop him. He wanted to ignore her, tell her to go home and rest, but she knew better than that. Her eyes poured out her tears as her mouth poured out her heartfelt words, and he had to keep his back to hide his emotions until he could get them under control. His dark eyes flashed with guilt as he watched as her heart shattered into pieces, then break into smaller shards on the city street. He could see his reflection in the remnants of her heart, knowing that he too was broken, but that was something he could not let her see. He could hear the desperation in her voice as she pleaded with him and he could not help but have a small desire to take her offer. Alas, he could not. The fear that gripped him and the overwhelming desire for revenge was too corrupt for someone as fragile as her. So instead, he looked at her with an apathetic expression in his eyes and told her the one thing he knew would hurt. He forced a smile when he said it and kept the grief inside where it belonged, in his heart not on his sleeve. He had practiced convincing himself that she was weak, that she was always a burden to him; but the faint memories of her warm arms wrapping around him and embracing him when he was in need refused to let that thought rest easily.

He rubbed his hands over his face roughly as he pulled himself to his feet and walked back over to the bed before kneeling down. The thoughts and images of her ebbed after a short while - he had more practice with blocking her out than the others but her memories were the most painful. Even now, he still cannot admit that he loves her. His eyes glanced over towards the window and he wondered if she was thinking of him in that moment; a part of him hoped she was. He fell backwards on the bed in the dark room and closed his eyes. He needed rest, he needed to focus, he needed her memories to disappear, he needed her…


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